


Falling

by scarecrowstories



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Relationship Advice, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 21:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19472971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarecrowstories/pseuds/scarecrowstories
Summary: An exploration of Taako falling in love with Kravitz, realizing what that Means for him, and admitting it to more than just himself. Featuring relationship advice from both Magnus and, later, Lup.





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this piece seems in character because I worked really hard on it. Taako wants to be vulnerable but can never let himself because of his hang-ups, so, like, this piece is born mostly out of that. Also because I'm tired of seeing depictions of Taako where he's an overly flamboyant drama queen about romance when he's got so much more going on than that!!

How did people know when they were in love?

For his entire life, Taako was extremely guarded with his love and affection. He had his transitory upbringing to thank for that, never feeling truly wanted by the relatives who temporarily housed him before tossing him on to the next one. It just wasn't worth it to invest such vulnerable emotions in people who he couldn't guarantee would stick around.

It's why the traveling caravan life suited him so well, he always reasoned. No attachments, no serious obligations, just looking out for himself on the open road. For once he felt in control of his life as he went where his whims led him, bouncing between various caravans whenever an appealing opportunity arose. Never tied down by anyone or anything, he was truly free. 

Similarly, it's why traveling with his show had been so fulfilling, too. Only instead of cooking boring meals for stuffy (and occasionally handsy) tradesmen, he was serving up marvels to adoring onlookers. He could still go where he wanted whenever he wanted to, but there was no more being ignored by those around him like he was some set piece. The celebrity life was addicting, in a way; he thrived from the attention of his fans, their love for him filling some deep void in his chest that he tried to forget about. 

And besides, he'd long since grown immune to being leered at like some sexual object. He knew he was beautiful, naturally, and lewd traders in caravans spared no opportunity to tell him so. There had never been any instances of assault, as thankfully his magic was enough of a threat to prevent that. As a celebrity, the looks were no less objectifying at times, but were mostly without the undercurrent of danger. It didn’t bother him anymore. What strangers thought about him was their problem, not his, he told himself.

Sure, he didn't always get along with Sazed, and of course not every show could be a raging success, but he couldn't remember being happier than when he was presenting some masterpiece with a magical flourish, applause ringing out around him. Even still, it was a labor of love, every moment of it: creating new dishes, innovating familiar ones, discovering local ingredients, experimenting with new transmutation spells. There was something rewarding about it beyond the attention that he couldn't quite name.

Losing the show had been devastating to him. He would tell his new friends years later that he was more upset about losing his celebrity status than he was about accidentally poisoning a small community, and that wasn't entirely inaccurate. He felt guilty that that was the case, but he couldn't lie to himself: he missed feeling so beloved. He tried not to dwell on it much, since self-reflection wasn't exactly his Brand.

And yet he wanted to chase that feeling like a drug. He didn't, with his sense of self-preservation and natural guardedness grounding him, but he wanted to more than anything. Perhaps that was part of what drew him to the adventuring lifestyle: short-term glory, excitement, a chance to show off and be admired for it.

His gig with the Bureau combined all that with the celebrity worship he'd so desperately missed. It was the perfect combination! And with that, it finally felt like his life was going somewhere actionable. No more wandering around with caravans like a lost soul, no more stressing about planning tours and public appearances. It was simpler, in a way, having someone tell him where to go and when, what he was expected to accomplish. And then for them to still offer him food and shelter and even praise upon his return? Absolutely ideal, in his book.

He mulled all these details over from the comfort of his bed, restless after a long day as he considered the one major anomaly so far: Kravitz. Odd events seemed to gravitate towards Taako like a magnet, and he was growing used to it, but Kravitz was by far the most interesting and unexpected development. His first thought upon seeing his actual face had been "Oh shit, he's hot!" and it was all downhill from there. 

Of course he'd had crushes before, just not in a while. He was out of practice with the feelings, even if the flirting came easy to him. Their first date had gone so well, and their second, and third. In the last few months they'd seen one another on average once a week - frequently enough that Kravitz was becoming part of Taako's routine. He'd catch himself thinking things like "Can't wait to tell him about this," or "I should take him here next time!"

Had it always been so easy to catch feelings for someone?

He'd only been able to keep his meetings with Kravitz secret from Magnus and Merle for so long. After their fifth outing, they were caught off guard upon their return by Magnus and Merle playing cards in the living room. Once they'd averted the crisis of "That's the guy who tried to kill us!" and Taako had explained that the two of them were dating, it all suddenly felt much more Real. 

"Look, fellas, I know there's some bad blood, but, like, Death here's actually a pretty chill dude. And he's also kinda my boyfriend, so…" he'd trailed off, not sure how much more he should say. To his surprise, the guys took it just fine.

Taako rolled over onto his side in bed and chuckled. Yeah, they really had taken it fine, hadn't they? That was almost a month ago, now. After every date they asked Taako how things were going, sibling-like pestering stirring a deep longing in his heart. It was one thing when his dates with Kravitz were a secret between the two of them, but another thing entirely when his friends were aware of it. Something about his relationship being observed by others put his feelings into perspective.

He was fond of Kravitz. Far more than he'd intended to be, if he was being honest with himself. The flirting had been fun, and Kravitz was cute, and a dork, so spending time with him was genuinely nice. Of course the kissing was wonderful, too, and the one time they'd had sex was so emotionally unlike anything Taako had experienced before. 

He was used to rough hands covering his mouth to keep him quiet, skirt hiked up over his hips, fast and dirty behind a caravan cart. He was practiced with fans who wanted to be able to say they'd slept with him, thinking they had to make a performance out of it as they had a one night stand at an inn. While the latter encounters were more tender than the former, they were just as fleeting, just as empty. 

He was used to it. He never felt bad about it. It worked for him, not having any kind of emotional attachment to complicate his life. Being able to find pleasure in an individual for a night and then move on had suited his lifestyle, much like the thought of going steady with someone seemed to now. He'd never stayed anywhere long enough to really date anyone. Was this kind of warmth in his heart the normal experience to be expected?

Just having that thought made him roll his eyes as he shifted in the bed. Kravitz recently said he thought he loved him, and that had been like a punch to his gut. Taako felt like he must be growing soft. Even just a few years ago if anyone had said that he would have bolted and never called them again. 

But for some reason he was content to discuss it with Kravitz. Even as far back as their first date, he felt strangely compelled to let himself be vulnerable around the reaper. He wasn't used to that, but he wanted to be. What was going on?

"Maybe I do love him," Taako thought, laying his arm across his forehead. When they'd talked about it, Taako was honest: it was too early in their relationship for him to say concretely how he felt, but if there was one thing he knew for certain it was that he wanted to keep seeing Kravitz. And Kravitz, gods above, had smiled and said he was happy to continue their arrangement as is in the meantime.

"Fuck, do I love him?" Taako whispered, sitting up with a start. He looked around his bedroom as if the answer would be sitting on his night stand. It was not, but a book that Kravitz left behind last time they'd hung out was sitting there, forgotten. On the armchair in the corner was a neatly folded set of pajamas that Kravitz left last time he'd spent the night. This was clearly more than the typical "fooling around" that Taako was used to, but how different?

When he thought about Kravitz coming to pick him up for an evening out, it filled him with a warmth that lent a spring to his step all day. Recalling the comfort of clasped hands, soft lips, hushed breaths, it all made his face grow warm. Instead of thinking about the time they had sex with the detachment he viewed his other encounters, he found himself wanting to do it again. He didn't want to have Kravitz fade from his life, another transient element in his unstable existence. He wanted him to be a constant, welcomed the idea of Kravitz becoming his tether.

But was that the same as love? Taako hopped up from the bed and started pacing. He'd never been in love before, how the heck was he supposed to know if that's what was going on? And after just a few short months of dating? Sure they talked through their stones every other day and hung out weekly if not more, and sure saying goodbye left him feeling lonely in a way he didn't quite like, but that didn't necessitate that he was in love.

There had to be someone he could talk to about this. He turned around as if expecting someone to be there, words on the tip of his tongue as if out of habit before he realized he was alone. Odd. Of course there wasn't anybody there. Who would he expect to be talking to? 

"How the fuck am I supposed to know what I feel?" he said aloud, frustrated, pacing more aggressively around the room now, clenching and unclenching his fists. "Just because he's handsome and kind and polite and smart and really fucking good in bed does NOT mean I'm in love! That's ridiculous!" He stopped pacing and flopped over onto the bed with an exaggerated sigh. 

"Knock knock!" The knock on the door was accompanied by a familiar voice.

Taako groaned loudly; that was Magnus. "Whatcha need, my man?" he called back.

Magnus opened the door enough to stick his head inside, grinning. "Oh, y'know, nothing really. It's just that your boyfriend dropped by and is talking to Merle in our living room so I figured you'd wanna come hang out with him."

At that, Taako immediately jumped out of bed, fighting down his rising blush and growing anxiety. "Shit, he didn't call ahead or anything, is everything okay?"

"Totally, yeah, he said he was just bored and wanted to hang out." Magnus opened the door the rest of the way to let Taako walk past him, but stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Hey, bud, just wanted to say I'm happy for you. He seems like a really good guy, and you deserve that in a partner. I know this is all still new, but--"

"Whoa wait a sec, stop right there, dude," Taako interrupted, stepping back from Magnus. "No need to act like we're getting married, we're just dating! I mean, like, you're right about him being a really good guy, and I'm deffo super into him, but c'mon. You really think Taako gets tied down so easily?" 

Magnus' smile faded slightly, mischief glowing in his eyes. "Well, no, but I could swear I heard you say something about being in love just now and--"

Taako cut him off again. "Oh hell no! What?" He dropped his volume abruptly and leaned in close. "Listen, I'm still sorting out my shit, so you'd better not let slip whatever you think you heard, yeah? It's nobody's business but my own, okay?"

At that, Magnus looked confused and a little hurt. "Yeah, I get you. Sorry for butting in like that, I just, I dunno, I wanted you to know that I support you. Because we're friends, and you deserve to feel like it's something you can talk about." There was a pause where they stared at each other. "Do you, uh, do you wanna talk about it, maybe?"

With a sigh Taako let his back thump against the wall, arms crossing against his chest. "I mean, fuck it, yeah I do, but not right now while he's waiting for me out there. Ask me again later so I have time to change my mind."

Magnus laughed and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "I can do that!"

As Taako crossed into the living room, his heart swelled at the sight of Kravitz looking up at him and smiling. The way his eyes lit up like a kid on Candlenights made Taako's knees weak, the joy in his voice as he greeted him weakening his resolve.

And he knew.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So, still up for that chat?" Magnus asked after Kravitz had left. The evening had been a pleasant one, the four of them sitting around playing card games together. It was the first time that Kravitz had hung out with Magnus and Merle instead of just Taako, and it had been so nice, Taako thought.

"Hmm, yeah, okay, why not. Did you, like, have any questions or whatever?" Taako was still sitting on the couch, legs tucked up to his chest with a blanket drawn around his shoulders.

Magnus sat down next to him, mug of tea in hand. "Nah, not really, but I gotta say, if you're still not sure how you feel it doesn't seem like he's the type to rush you. But I saw how you looked at him, and I'd know that look anywhere."

Before he could say something snappy in response, Taako remembered that Magnus had been married. His sharp words died on his tongue, replaced instead with a soul-deep ache at the thought of losing Kravitz to tragedy the way Magnus had lost Julia. "You would, wouldn't you?" he asked, voice small as he averted his gaze.

"Listen, if you take a while to say the big L-word, I doubt he'd think it's a big deal. He's already dead and elves practically live forever so there's no hurry, y'know?"

"But isn't it naïve to think I'm in love after just a couple of months?" Taako was frustrated. Mostly with himself, but also with Kravitz for making him feel this way.

Magnus rested a hand on Taako's knee. "Maybe this is my human bias but not everyone has the luxury of taking a decade to decide how they feel. Sometimes a few months is all it takes to be sure."

A dozen questions were screaming in Taako's head, but he was too tired and nervous to voice them. What if he wasn't sure? Or what if he was wrong about being sure? What if he hurt Kravitz by accident? Or what if Kravitz changed his mind? What if something happened and their bounty cases were reopened? He sighed. "Okay cool, thanks for that, I still have no clue where that leaves me but I think that's enough for tonight." He stood, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn, and made his way to his bedroom.

When he flopped over onto the bed, now thoroughly exhausted from having spent a few hours being social, he couldn't help but reflect on that moment. Walking into the living room and seeing Kravitz so relaxed had felt right. There was a sense of belonging in that smile, in seeing Kravitz take pleasure in simply seeing his face. The happiness in his tone when he greeted Taako sat warm in his heart.

That simple gesture, while innocuous, had felt profound. Taako's mind lingered on how his heart had skipped a beat, and how he'd never felt more sure of anything than he was in that moment. It didn't matter if it seemed silly in hindsight; he loved Kravitz, and there was no denying it. He could tell himself that because he'd never been in love before he had no way of knowing if this was the real deal, but that was just his nerves and he knew it. Of course he was worried about fucking up the best thing that ever happened to him.

"Gods, I really have it bad for him, huh?" he said with a hollow laugh. He changed into his pajamas and settled into bed, content. He wasn't ready to say it aloud to Kravitz yet, but perhaps it would be okay to say aloud in the quiet of his own bedroom. Just for practice's sake. "Yeah. I'm in love with Kravitz." 

The words felt perfect in his mouth, sounded divinely Right to his ears. If he thought he knew before, this only proved it to him further. And if something happened later to change their feelings for one another, or to change their circumstances, well, he was content to leave that problem for future-Taako. For now, he was in love. And wasn't that something special?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After the world failed to end and they'd celebrated until the early hours of the following morning, Taako sat with Lup and talked for hours. She'd teased him about dating Kravitz, sure, but Taako couldn't think of anyone better to talk to about his feelings. 

"He said he loves me, Lup," he said, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. "You saw a lot of our, uhh, dates, I guess? From the umbrella?" He let out an awkward laugh. "Okay, so uhh, pretend you didn't see most of that stuff, but what do you think?"

Though she couldn't effectively emote in her spectral form, Taako could tell she was beaming. "I think he's wonderful! I know you were, like, hella conflicted about how you felt for a long time, but that's passed now, right?"

Taako nodded. "I can't believe I'm gonna say this, Lulu, but yeah. I think I'm in love with him. Actually, no, y'know what? Fuck it. I'm in love with him." Hands trembling slightly, Taako couldn't contain the tears welling up. "We just stopped the fucking world from ending and he told me, in front of god and everybody, that he loves me! Holy shit!" He roughly wiped away the tears.

"It was pretty sweet," she admitted. "Seriously though, I'm happy for you. Why don't you go look for him so you two can talk? Oof, speaking of talking, I gotta go find Barry. I have some words for that nerd."

"Oh gross, you're gonna go be a big sap aren't you?" he teased, sticking his tongue out at her.

"Uhh, yeah, I am, because I haven't seen my boyfriend in a hot decade and I need to tell him how much I missed his stupid face!" Lup floated up dramatically and started to drift away. "Catch you later, dingus!"

Rolling his eyes, Taako couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, yeah, go away, I have a fella to romance. Don't come calling on me any time soon!"

"Now you're the one being gross," she joked, shaking her head as she left.

Taako's heart had never felt fuller. Between his sister's return and kissing Kravitz at the end of everything, he finally felt ready to allow himself this exposure. He'd known for a little while how he felt, but it never felt like the right moment to bring it up. And then, of course, things had happened rather quickly the last few days. He pulled out his stone of farspeech and rang for Kravitz.

"Taako?"

"Hey, babe, you got a minute?"

"I, well, I can if you need me, yes. I have a lot of souls to usher over so I might be busy for a little while. Is everything okay?"

Taako took a deep breath and decided to go for it. "Heck yeah, my man. I just wanted to say something. It's cool if we don't talk it over in person yet, really, but, like…" He had to take another deep breath; he was suddenly light headed. "Krav, I love you, too. I didn't say it before and I feel really bad about it because I've known for a while and I wanted to wait for a good time to say it, but when is there ever a good time for anything anymore, y'know?"

There was a brief pause before Kravitz laughed, a bright and beautiful sound. "I was so happy that we were alive and it was so lovely just getting to kiss you again that I didn't even realize you didn't say it back!" He hummed happily. "But it's still nice to hear. Is it okay if I come over in a little while? Once I finish up a bit more work?"

Heart pounding, Taako nodded emphatically despite not being seen. "Yeah, of course, please! I'm about to go pass the fuck out for a few hours so legit take your time, do your thing, and you know where you find me." When they disconnected, Taako felt a different kind of exhaustion sweep over him, overlapping with all the other various forms of exhaustion weighing down his limbs. "Hoo boy, I need a nap," he thought, hurrying to his dorm for much-needed sleep until Kravitz's arrival.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

With no concept of how long he'd slept, Taako found himself being woken by Kravitz gently shaking his shoulder. "Hey, you wanna get up? I only have a few hours before I've gotta get going again."

Blinking through the haze of sleep, Taako felt like he was dragging his body through syrup as he sat up. "Hey there, handsome," he said around a yawn. He leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Kravitz's lips with a smirk. "How's it going?"

"Oh, you know, never a shortage of work when your business is death." Kravitz's wistful smile spoke volumes. Even though they'd saved the world, there were still a lot of people who died to make that possible. 

But not Taako.

"Yeah, I hear you there. And that's depressing as hell. So how's about you let me keep you distracted until you've gotta get back to it?" Taako wrapped his arms around Kravitz's waist and nuzzled his head against his chest. "We survived the apocalypse, my man! We should be having the most righteous victory sex! If you want to, too, of course, no pressure."

Kravitz returned the embrace. "Actually, that sounds fantastic." Another kiss. "I love you so much, Taako, and I don't think I'll ever be tired of saying so." Several kisses in quick succession, pressed tenderly on the top of his head. "We're alive, and the world is still here, and I love you."

With a happy sigh, Taako let himself be snuggled. "Hell yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I love you too. And not to sound like a total goofus, but you're the first person I've ever been for real in love with. I've had flings and whatever, but damn, babe. This is the big one." Pulling back enough to smile up at Kravitz, Taako brought their lips together, and it was everything he could've wanted.

"The big one, huh?"

"For sure, yeah, biggest damn one imaginable. Now, since we don't have a lot of time, I suggest we hurry this little encounter along with some nudity, sound good?"

Kravitz agreed, face alight with love. "That sounds excellent." 

And it was.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone want an explicit sequel? Now that I've written explicit Blupjeans it only seems fair to to a Taakitz too. Peace!


End file.
